Pain stinks.

I’m so tired of being in pain.  Something always hurts.  Something’s always bothering me.  If it’s not a random pain in my left shoulder, preventing me from lifting it above my head, then it’s the pursing beat of my high blood pressure, pressing on  my brain.  Maybe it’s the skin covering my heart, which moves dramatically any time I bend over or lift something heavy.  Walking from the parking lot at work to my office, now leaves me winded some days.  I’m always out of breath, and I have pain.  I will see the cardiologist next week.

How did I gain back ALL 42 pounds I lost two years ago?  How’s that even possible.  And as I write these details, recalling all this frustration, a hard feeling pushes up through my throat and I feel like I’m going to choke.  I’m clenching my teeth and my fists…

Damn.  Youth really is wasted on the young.


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